An Interrupted Nap
by fourthage
Summary: Juan has his nap interrupted by the arrival of the 12th Unit. Written for Yuletide 2008.


Notes: This was written for Yuletide 2008

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Juan was asleep the first time the Twelfth Unit came to Budehuc Castle. This would come as no surprise to anyone who knew him. Juan loved to sleep. He and sleep were more than passing acquaintances, they were best buddies. In fact, he loved sleep so much that sometimes he'd skip his mid-morning nap and go straight from his early morning nap to his pre-lunch nap. Juan and sleep were tight.

So when the mercenary crew that was the Twelfth Unit of the Harmonian Southern Defense Force wandered into the castle, Juan was stretched out in a patch of sun, dead to the world. He probably would have slept through their entire visit, had a booted foot not dug itself into his side. Juan grunted and squinted up at the figure standing over him.

"What?" he said.

"You the bujutsu teacher?" the man asked. The sun flashed off the sai holstered at his side.

Juan rolled over. "Don't do weapons," he said. That wasn't true, but he wanted to get back to his nap. The foot prodded his side again. "I said, I don't do weapons," he repeated, half turning his head to glare.

It was a different man this time, dressed in purple and too many beaded necklaces. "Me either," he grinned. "Why don't you show me a few pointers?"

Juan sighed and got up. They obviously weren't going to let him be, and the sooner he gave them what they wanted, the sooner he could be sleeping again. The man in purple immediately got into a fighting stance. Juan glanced at him, and took his time stretching before doing the same.

Two minutes later, Juan was wondering what he had done to deserve this particular afternoon. The other man was beyond good and had no business asking for pointers from anyone, let alone Juan. He was going to be feeling that first punch for days. Juan feinted, and tried to sweep his opponent's legs. The man somehow caught Juan's leg, and did some combination of pulling and pushing that threw Juan on to his back so hard he could do nothing but lay there and try to get his breath back.

The man with the sai applauded. "Not bad, old man. Guess you're not completely decrepit."

"I'll be glad to show you how decrepit I am anytime, Ace."

Ace held up his hands. "Hey, I'm good." He walked over to where Juan still lay on his back and offered a hand. "You weren't too bad, either."

Juan snorted, but accepted the hand up. "Right. You guys do this for a living?"

"Beats anything else we could do," the man in purple said. "I'm Joker, by the way. And you really weren't that bad. I've just been doing this longer."

"Okay," Juan said. "So, what was the point? You knew you weren't going to learn anything from me."

Ace and Joker looked at each other. Joker shrugged and made a "go ahead" gesture. Ace cleared his throat. "Uh, well, we heard from the castle lord that you guys are kind of down on your luck, so, um, we're doing our bit to help." He dug around in his pockets for a moment, then pulled out a large gold coin. "Here. For the lesson."

Juan had never been a fool, even when presented with better liars than Ace. But the castle did need money. He reached for the coin and frowned when Ace held on to it.

Joker elbowed Ace in the side, none too gently. "Ow!" Ace yelped. He let go of the coin and glared at Joker. Joker ignored him.

"Thanks again for the lesson," he said. He left, with Ace trailing complaints behind him.

"I swear, all of you think money grows on trees. This is coming straight out of Jacques' drinking budget. It's bad enough that the captain brought us all the way . . ." Ace's voice faded out of earshot.

Juan looked after them, debating whether he wanted to follow and ask who Jacques was and why he wanted Juan paid for getting his butt kicked. Then his arm throbbed where he'd blocked one of Joker's punches, and he decided first aid was more important. He made his way to the castle's side entrance, opened the door, and promptly ran into someone coming the other way. Juan caught the doorjamb to keep from falling over, and winced when it wrenched his shoulder.

"Sorry," he said, then blinked. "Is that a crossbow?" The person he'd run into had a shock of blond hair, far lighter than Juan's own, a blue coat, and, oh yes, a crossbow on his back as big as he was. "Wait," Juan said, when he opened his mouth. "Never mind. Are you with the two guys who wanted a bujutsu lesson?" The man nodded. "Great, you owe me then. I'm going to wait outside. You can go talk to Muto. He's the kobold you'd have to be blind to miss. Tell him Juan sent you and needs something for his bruises." Juan waited until the man nodded again, and went to find a sunny spot.

He was just starting to get sleepy again when the man returned. Yawning, Juan sat up and took the proffered salve. "Thanks," he said. He took off his shirt and started rubbing the ointment on his arms. "You Jacques?"

Jacques nodded.

"Don't you talk?"

"Yes," Jacques said. He unhooked his crossbow and leaned it against a tree before sitting down beside Juan.

"So what was the deal with the 'lesson'?" Juan asked, finishing his arms. He tried reaching behind himself to put some on his back too, but the soreness was starting in earnest and his arms weren't moving the way he wanted.

Jacques shrugged.

"Was it really a donation to the castle budget? 'Cause you could have just bought one of Martha's lottery tickets and left me out of it." Juan scowled when Jacques said nothing. "I was sleeping," he said.

"Sorry," Jacques said. He watched Juan continue to contort himself and put out his hand. "Want me to do that?"

Juan looked at him suspiciously, but gave him the small jar and turned around. "You had to know it wouldn't even be close. So why?"

Jacques's hands touched just below Juan's shoulder blades and began rubbing the ointment in with small circular motions. "You looked interesting," he said.

"I was sleeping."

"It was peaceful." A slight breeze blew over them, cooling Juan's back where the ointment had yet to dry. Jacques' hands were almost hot in contrast. Juan shivered.

"Funny thing for a mercenary to be interested in," he said. Jacques didn't respond. "Hey," he said. "You guys aren't going to give us any trouble, are you? We've got enough of that already."

"No. We're just looking for someone." Jacques rubbed his hands up Juan's back one last time. "Okay, done." He set the jar down as Juan turned to face him again.

"Peaceful, huh?" Juan picked a grass stalk and chewed on the end. Jacques leaned over and did the same.

"Tastes funny," he said. He looked at Juan. "What else?"

"Well, I think you can't beat a good nap, but no one around here agrees with me." Juan thought a moment. "Some people like the ocean breeze," he offered. Jacques' eyes lit up. "Right," Juan said. "Follow me."

The ship that half-hung from Budehuc's sea-facing wall was the castle's only real distinction. Juan didn't go on it much. Cecile liked to practice there, and she was anything but quiet in her armor. Juan led Jacques through the hole in the hull and up on deck. The wind coming off the ocean was steady, but warm. Beside him, Jacques took a deep breath. Juan grinned. "Nice, isn't it?"

Jacques smiled back and moved to inspect the mast. Juan stretched and walked up the steps to the bow, where there was a comfortable pile of sailcloth. He turned back to tell Jacques to take his time, but Jacques had disappeared. A noise made him look up, and he gaped. Somehow Jacques had made his way up to the crosstrees, and was standing there like he hadn't a care in the world. Just looking at him made Juan dizzy, so he shut his eyes and fell back into the sailcloth. With the sun warming his skin and the ship's wood gently creaking, he fell asleep in record time.

Sometime later, a boot poked him in the side. Juan grumbled and caught the foot when it tried to poke him a second time.

"Hey," a voice said

"Wasn't once enough?" Juan asked. "I'm off the rest of the day."

"I'm not looking for a fight. Have you seen a guy with a oversized crossbow?"

Juan cracked his eyes open. "Huh. A woman mercenary." He glanced up. Jacques was in the same position he'd been in when Juan had fallen asleep. He pointed. The woman followed his finger and sighed.

"Should have known," she said. "Jacques! We're leaving!" She waved and pointed when Jacques looked down. "Thanks for the help," she told Juan.

Juan shrugged as Jacques landed on the deck with a slight thud. The woman put her hand on his shoulder. "Let's go, everyone else is already at the gate." Jacques looked at Juan, who waved.

"Come back whenever you like," he said. The woman looked at him, then at Jacques, and shook her head.

"You get up to the strangest things when the rest of us aren't around," she said to Jacques. He waved back to Juan, and then they were gone.

Juan lay back again, for once not sleepy. He looked up at the crosstrees and smiled to himself. Cecile or no Cecile, he had a feeling this was going to be his new favorite napping spot.


End file.
